It has been much harder than I originally thought to put into words the reasons why I write. There have been many drafts over the past couple of weeks as I have searched within myself and attempted to find the right words. I did come up with a cracker of an opening for this post whilst mopping the kitchen floor earlier today, but it was long gone by the time I finally sat down, determined to finish this post. In my last draft, I had 600 words alone discussing not just ‘why I write’ but ‘why I need to write‘ so in the hope you will read this entire post, I have summarised:
I write to make me happy.
I write to justify the amount of baking and cooking that I do.
I write to make other people smile (hopefully anyway!)
I write in the hope that others know they are not alone.
I write for simple enjoyment of turning my thoughts, daydreams and ideas into words and sentences.
I write because I’m selfish and the process of transferring the thoughts, memories and stories from my mind into something ‘real’ comforts me.
I write to record this precious time with my family.
I also write so I have something to do when awake in the wee hours of the morning 🙂
I write at a desk (that my husband made) tucked away in a corner of our dining area. I have been envious of many peoples work areas, and while I could have prettied up my space a bit more before taking this photo, I decided to keep it real.
I like my corner. From my chair I can watch the sky begin to lighten as a new day begins, a reminder I need to concentrate and get my work done before the house wakes up.
And now for the blog hop questions….
What am I working on
Over the past couple of months I’ve been getting more organised. My personality doesn’t do well with mess and lack of routine (shocking I know when you look at my desk!) I don’t want to be sitting at the computer or checking social media during the day when I’m with my boys so I have been scheduling posts a lot more – with mixed success. This feeds the controlling and organised side of my personality, but leaves my creative side wanting more freedom.
I’m feeding my creativity and also helping my sanity by working on two manuscripts. For the past seven months I have been writing about our experiences with infertility, IVF, the loss of our babies, high risk pregnancy, prematurity and my experiences with anxiety and depression – I know it sounds like a ton of laughs! I have no grand plans for this, I simply write when I feel I need to. It’s my way of not just recording our journey, but actually acknowledging and dealing with what we have gone through over the past few years. I also look at it as an acknowledgement and a tribute to our babies who are not with us.
I am also working on a second manuscript which is much more light hearted. It’s where I am (slowly) piecing together my random (and to be honest) quite bizarre daydreams and thoughts into some kind of story…. well that’s the plan anyway!
Just to throw a few more things in there, I am also in the VERY early stages of brainstorming ideas for a recipe e-book. Phew!
How does my writing differ from others in my genre?
I don’t think there is anything unique about the way I write. I simply try to write as if we were sitting down having a coffee and a chat – which is something I like to do quite often!
Why do I write what I do
When I write about my baking and cooking, I want to share with people my love and passion of being in the kitchen. I want to convey that you can have fun in the kitchen – even with kids and the mess that inevitably comes with it. I want to encourage people to make memories with their kids, and teach them that food just doesn’t come from packets bought in a store.
When I write more personal posts, my reasons are a bit more complicated. When we first sought medical assitance and eventually IVF to start our family, I was ashamed. I wanted it to be kept a secret, I felt guilt that it was my body that was stopping us from having a family. During that time I would spend hours on forums and sites, reading the stories of others going through similar journeys, comparing their situation to ours, but never brave enough to share our story.
In those early weeks after our twins were born and passed away, all I wanted to do was share our story, I wanted, needed people to know about their existance albeit for a short time. The guilt and shame soon returned and it took me two years before I was able to talk about them again. I know that may sound terrible, but it was my way of coping. It was the only way I could continue to function, espeically during further IVF, two more high risk pregnancies and two more premature births. Around a year ago I turned a bit of a corner. I again wanted to share their story, for them to be acknowledged as our only daughter and first born son – and so I started to write about them. As well as for my own selfish reasons, I also want to share our story as unfortunately their are too many other people out there battling infertility, still birth, infant loss and prematurity.
How does my writing process work?
There is no set process, which for a perfectionist such as myself, I struggle with this. I can often have a baking frenzy and will easily make three or four recipes in just one day. It’s then all about taking enough photos of what I’m doing in the hope there will be a few decent shots that I can use! One of my goals is to work on my photography skills. I look back on photos from old posts and cringe at how bad they are.
When it comes to personal posts, most of the time I know what I want to write about, it’s just a matter of letting the words all tumble from head and then playing with them until the turn into a coherent story.
I can be playing with the boys and a few sentences suddenly string together in my head, and I am trying to get better at writing them down. I find most of my ideas and thoughts come when I am either at the gym or out walking and can’t stop to jot them down, or as I’m lying in bed trying to calm the chatter in my mind and fall asleep.
Who is next? I’ve asked three of my favourite bloggers to play along…
Sam writes at A Life on Venus. She is a Mum, Wife, Friend, Coffee and Wine Lover, Writer and Blogger and always writes from the heart.
Dannielle’s blog Zamamabakes is a recent discovery and it’s already one of my favourites. Dannielle is a passionate cook and baker and I know if we were to have morning tea together, it would be AMAZING!
Toni from Finding Myself Young writes about her journey through life – the happiness,love, relationships, divorce, family, loss, death, infertility, pregnancy, babies and the little things. I try to keep everything positive, even if the topic I’m posting about isn’t.