The arrival of a new baby is an exciting (and exhausting!) time for everyone, and sometimes people get so caught up in the moment when spending time with your new bub that they don’t always think before they open their mouth. After the birth of each of our three boys, I’ve been surprised (and a little shocked) by some of the things that people have said to me, so today I decided to put this post together on 5 things not to say to a new Mum, or any Mum in fact!
“Are you feeding your baby?”
Yep, I was asked this question by more people than I care to remember after the arrival of ALL of my children, and still get asked now even though bub is 10 months old! I can still remember the look on the face of a lady who asked me this question at Bunnings one day when in my sleep deprived state I replied “No I’ve organised a roster for the neighbours to do it.”
“He/She must be hungry.”
NEVER ask this, just NEVER! Yes it may be well meaning advice, however a new Mum who is still getting to know her baby and their cries, as well as still working out their feeding patterns, or is concerned about their supply (this has always been me!) this comment can make them feel like they are starving their baby and all kinds of inadequate.
“Does childbirth hurt?”
Hmm, what do you think? I especially like when this is followed up with: “Well a caesar wouldn’t have been as bad a giving birth naturally.” Chances are a new Mum is still trying to block out some of the more embarrassing or uncomfortable parts of her little ones birth, so unless she brings up this topic or offers this kind of information, this area is a no go.
“Wow your baby is big/small!”
I’d really love to know how big a baby is meant to be! All three of my boys were/are small (3lb 14, 4lb 7 and 6lb 8) so I used to hear the comments about my ‘tiny’ babies ALL OF THE TIME and I especially loved when people would question me on how old they ‘really were’ as they couldn’t possible be the age I had just told them as they were too small. On the flip side, saying a baby is too big will make a new Mum think she has some kind of giant baby who is The safest comment when it comes talking about the appearance of a new baby is to marvel at just how adorable it is.
“Gosh you look tired!”
Thanks for stating the obvious! While a new Mum is probably feeling good about herself and actually celebrating the fact that she has showered and run a comb through her hair before your visit, you’ve just totally bought her back to reality – thanks!
What’s the worst thing someone has said to you after having a baby?