Last week we visited the Botanic Gardens where my husband and I were married, almost seven years ago. It was both a strange and bittersweet experience sitting on the grass and watching the boys running around. If someone was to tell me back then what the next few years would hold, the infertility battles, IVF, the loss of two precious children and the resulting battles to bring both of our boys home I think I would have laughed at them – no one could be that unlucky right?!?
While there has been a little too much heartbreak and tears during our short married life, there’s also been a lot of joy, fun and laughter. Over the past month I’ve let myself embrace the chaos. In the past I would find myself getting anxious and even annoyed about the mess being created, or things not going to plan but I’ve now been trying to just breathe, enjoy the moment and let our boys have fun. This was especially true when we sat down to do some crafting and attempted to create this amazing toy car wash.
Yep, our’s looked NOTHING like a car wash in the slightest, but we did discover a fun new game of poking pipe cleaners into a cardboard box and the whole activity kept the boys entertained for hours.
You see the thing I’m learning is, it’s ok to make a mess and give my kids what they need. It’s ok to get sand all through our hair and clothes. It’s ok to lie in bed with our big boy to help him go to sleep. It’s ok to tip all the lego out across the floor so we can build a big tower. It’s ok to let the boys still have a cup of milk in the morning and before bed. It’s ok to have play dough in our hair – hmm on second thoughts…..
While I’m in this reflective mood, now seems like the perfect time to also take stock with this great prompt list – thanks to Pip from Meet me at Mikes.
Making : bread, bread and more bread. I’ve become a little addicted.
Cooking : what is in our pantry and freezer in an attempt to cut down on our grocery bills.
Drinking : ice cold water – my favourite part is crunching the ice cubes.
Reading: Daring and Disruptive by Lisa Messenger.
Wanting: both more time in the day and time to stand still – crazy right?!
Looking: ahead. Always looking ahead.
Playing: with the boys has become my priority.
Deciding: to let go of the insecurities and self doubt that has gripped me in the past – well trying to anyway!
Wishing: for nothing. Instead doing what I can to make things happen.
Enjoying: lazy summer days.
Waiting: for the boys to wake up from their nap.
Liking: that they are both asleep at the same time.
Wondering: how much more work I can cram in before they wake up – and hopefully have some lunch too!
Loving: the feeling of contentment which is beginning to bubble to the surface.
Pondering: my never ending to do list.
Considering: what is for lunch.
Watching: our faithful dog rolling around on the grass.
Hoping: for a cool change to roll on through.
Marvelling: at just how quickly my big boy is starting to learn new things.
Needing: time to slow down – just a little please.
Smelling: bread in the oven – I tell you I’m obsessed!
Wearing: clothes from 2 years ago that are probably not in style, clearly not a fashion blogger.
Following: my heart.
Knowing: I’m on the right path.
Thinking: I’m almost right where I want to be.
Admiring: the strength and resilience of others.
Sorting: through the PILES of papers on my desk.
Buying: new sandals – at least they were on sale!
Bookmarking: Styletread – how has a shoe addict like me not bought from this site before?
Disliking: not being organised.
Opening: a new chapter.
Giggling: at the boys making up songs and dancing.
Snacking: on grapes and cheese.
Coveting: complete and unwavering contentment.
How is your year going?